Okay, real talk: what changes auditions/performances for you? It’s funny because it’s something most of us either don’t think about or choose to ignore most of the time. When it comes to performance anxiety it becomes the philosophy of “ignore it and maybe it’ll go away.” That…doesn’t really work, at least for most of us. That said, neither does having someone tell us how we should handle ourselves. Additionally, for many of us, we’ll have our butterflies in a net when we perform for years…until we don’t. So, what makes that change? What makes that shift in us? Do we know?
After nearly 20 years of playing and performing (now that’s a terrifying statement!) I think I might be starting to figure out what triggers things for me and what doesn’t. The first thing that makes a difference is how much I’m performing. It doesn’t have to be performing on flute, any sort of performing helps. It’s come to my attention that the more I teach dance fitness (so I’m up in front of a crowd multiple times a week frequently teaching choreography I’m not super familiar with) the more confident of a performer I feel I am. It doesn’t seem to matter that I don’t have a flute in my hands when I’m dancing, what matters is the frequency that I’m up in front of a crowd doing something artistic.
When performing chamber music with people I care about, I also find myself calmer. The notion that we want each other to succeed and grow through each performance helps make things easier. We all know we have each other’s backs if something goes wrong and that no one wants to sabotage anyone else mid-performance. (NOTE: sabotage within chamber groups is not a normal thing!)
Also, self-distraction before walking out onstage is helpful for me. Grabbing my phone and texting people…who would consider that a coping mechanism? For me, however, it works. It keeps my mind off of what I should be doing (ie. worrying about how a certain measure is supposed to go) and focused on talking to people who matter to me and want to see me succeed.
So what does any of this mean for you? Well, we might share some triggers and be able to understand from each other that when one aspect changes we might feel differently in the same circumstance. It also means that a key feature of this is (buzzword) mindfulness! In the last few years I’ve become a huge advocate of Headspace and being more mindful of yourself in general. It helps, additionally, with becoming more mindful of your performance triggers, particularly if you use the training/sport packs. Last word of advice, check out https://bulletproofmusician.com/blog/ Dr. Noa Kageyama. He teaches at Juilliard and has his degree from Jacobs school at Indiana University where he combined sports psychology and music into what he does now, which is study effective practice and performance anxiety.
If you feel comfortable, please share your triggers and coping mechanisms, as well. You never know when your words will change someone’s life.
Happy Practicing!
Samantha J. Haake Flute 